“Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun” (Ecc. 9:9). Solomon made it clear that a wise thing for a man to do is to spend time living joyfully with his wife. He taught this here and in Proverbs 5:18-19 and 18:22.

            Too many people live in joyless marriages. For whatever reason, the spouses do not come home to joy or happiness like they once did. What happened to them? While blame might be found with both people, perhaps in the simplest terms, we have forgotten how to live joyfully with our spouse!

            God instituted marriage in Genesis 2. “It is not good that man should be alone,” He said (Gen. 2:18). Thus, God made a “help” fitting for a man when He made the woman. She is his physical complement, as well as his mental, emotional, and spiritual complement. These two were made to encourage and help one another. In I Peter 3:7, God intended husband and wife to be “heirs together of the grace of life.” In other words, we are partners and companions on this earth, and part of our work is helping one another go to Heaven! How can there not be joy in a marriage when we try to help and encourage one another to go to the place of eternal joy?

Why should a man listen to Solomon and “live joyfully” with his wife? Let’s consider a few reasons. 

• “Live joyfully” with your wife because she chose you! She could have married someone else, but she agreed to marry you and travel the road of life with you. 
• “Live joyfully” with your wife because even when she makes mistakes, she has your best interest in mind.
• “Live joyfully” with your wife because she has bore your children and loves them. A new generation knows about Jesus thanks to “the wife of thy youth” (Prov. 5:18, 31:10-21).
• “Live joyfully” with your wife because she is the closest earthly relationship you have. Ephesians 5:22-33 tells the husband to love his wife “as his own body.”
• “Live joyfully” with your wife because you will have no better friend on earth. 

            It might seem odd that a man with 700 wives and 300 concubines (I Kings 11:3) would encourage men to “live joyfully” with one wife (Ecc. 9:9). Some might suggest that it took such an extreme measure for Solomon to appreciate what God had provided from the beginning! Regardless of what right or wrong decisions Solomon made in his life, remember that this man was endowed with wisdom above all others on earth by God (I Kings 3:12, 4:30-31, 5:12). The Holy Spirit also inspired him in his writing (II Pet. 1:20-21). As a result, there is something we can learn and apply when we read Solomon’s words. He is not only telling us the wise way to go, but he is also saying, in essence, “don’t do what I did!” Isn’t this the kind of advice we need? We need someone who has already traveled the path to come back and warn us about what we ought to do and not do. Solomon’s decision in this area of life serves as this warning to all.

            Let’s listen to the words of the Preacher and live “joyfully” with our spouse (Rom. 15:4).

- Jarrod M. Jacobs

                   The first seven verses of Ecclesiastes 5 remind us to be careful about the words we say. As we read this passage, we see that “a multitude of words” is associated with foolish behavior (Ecc. 5:3), vanity (v. 7), evil (v. 1), and sin (v. 6). Parallel to this thought is what Christ taught in Matthew 6. He said that the heathen (Gentiles, nations, etc.) think they will be heard in their prayers because of their “much speaking” (Matt. 6:7). The point being that God did not acknowledge their “speaking.” Most men see through the tactics of someone who “talks too much”! Friend, don’t be like that.

                   How many times do we “shoot off our mouths” and not consider what we said until later, if ever? Solomon, by inspiration, makes it clear that our words can cause us great trouble. We are reminded here that God is vigilant in noting what we say (Ecc. 5:2b). This warning is repeated in such New Testament passages as Matthew 12:36-37, and James 3:1-12. In the book of Ecclesiastes, the Preacher reminds his listeners that our mouths can cause our flesh to sin (Ecc. 5:6). Friend, how closely do you watch what you say? David said, “I will keep my mouth with a bridle” (Ps. 39:1). What will you do? In an age of “social media,” let us be reminded that our “rash words” can be written as well as spoken. Are you careful to guard the words you type on social media? If not, why not? Are you careful about the stories you share on social media? Typed words will condemn us as quickly as the words that come from our mouths!

As we read Ecclesiastes 5, we note that verse four tells us to make sure and pay our vows when we make them. While this is not a passage talking exclusively about marriage, marriage vows are promises we make to our spouse and God, promising, “til death do us part,” among other things. Married people, are you honoring your vows? Man’s vows are so significant that it is written that it is better for us not to vow at all than to make a vow and not pay or fulfill it (v. 5). How are we doing in honoring the vows we make? See, if you make vows, but do not honor them, then you are a liar (Rev. 21:8)! Making vows also includes our debts! If you promise to pay someone back when you make a debt, then this is a vow. You need to make sure and pay your debts as you promised to do!

                   “By thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words, thou shalt be condemned” (Matt. 12:37). Let us take the words of Christ and Solomon to heart. Our words are precious! Our words are the vehicles of our thoughts. We need to control our thoughts and make sure we do not “engage our mouths when our brains are in neutral”! “Keep thy foot” (Ecc. 5:1) means behave yourself! Let us behave ourselves and watch our words when we offer our sacrifices to God (Ecc. 5:1; Heb. 13:15; I Pet. 2:5), and watch our words daily! Jesus said our words can save, or our words will condemn.

Why is it that many of our politicians have no respect by the populace? It is because these people talk a lot, they promise (vow) a lot, and many times, their words amount to nothing! We judge them as liars because they promised things and never fulfilled their promises/vows! How refreshing it would be for a politician to come along who didn’t promise anything except to represent the constituents to the best of his ability! That’s enough!

                   Someone said that they prayed that their words might always be sweet, for one day they may have to “eat them”! How true! James 1:19 reminds us to be “slow to speak,” and how this is needed today! Let us follow the command of Ephesians 4:29 and 32, Ecclesiastes 5, James 1:19, and chapter 3 when we speak! We will be blessed immensely when we are not “rash” (hasty) to speak.

- Jarrod M. Jacobs

                   Ecclesiastes 4:9 reminds us that, “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor.” Solomon says that two are better than one because if one falls, the other can pick him up (v. 10). Two together bring (beneficial) heat (v. 11), and two and even three together can withstand enemies when they come (v. 12).

                   This section of Ecclesiastes reminds us that man is a social creature. God made man in such a way that he needs the companionship of others. Companionship is one reason for marriage (Gen. 2:18). Some consider it the main reason for marriage, and I would not disagree. Companionship is why we have friends (Prov. 18:24). Refusing friendships and social interaction with others is not normal to our way of life, and is why it is so odd when someone wishes to be a “hermit.” While it is true that men need to be alone at times, this person cannot live like this for months and years at a time and remain healthy.

                   In his writing, Solomon tells us that there is a need for companionship. We must have those who will support, care, love, and keep us in “check.” Do you have someone like this in your life? If you have more than one person who fills this role, you are truly blessed.

                   Do you fill this role for others? What kind of friend are you? “Two are better than one” is true, so long as both people have the same goals! We need people that are going to help us go to Heaven. This is necessary with our friends, and it is especially needed when we are choosing a mate (Matt. 19:4-6). We need a spouse who will help us go to Heaven so that we can be “heirs together of the grace of life” (I Pet. 3:7).

                   Satan tries his best to tempt us and lure us away from the Lord. Peter describes him as a “roaring lion seeking whom he may devour” (I Pet. 5:8). One way the lion devours is by finding the weak, the young, the ones who cannot stay with the “herd” and killing and devouring his prey. It is the same today, spiritually. Thus, a reason we need others is that we might help one another fight Satan’s advances. If one would fall (spiritually), his friend can help lift him up and get him back on the right track (Gal. 6:1; Jas. 5:19-20).

                   Who are your friends?

                   Is Jesus your friend (Jn. 14:15, 15:14)? Remember, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (Jn. 15:13). Now, read Romans 5:6-8. Christ had shown Himself to be a friend before we ever loved Him. How are you treating Him now?

                   If Christ is your friend:

• You will have a “good reward for your labor” (Ecc. 4:9; I Cor. 15:58; II Tim. 4:8).
• He will lift you up (Ecc. 4:10; Jas. 4:10; I Pet. 5:6).
• He will benefit us on earth as well as in Heaven (Ecc. 4:11; Matt. 6:25-33; Rev. 22:14).
• He will help us prevail over Satan (Ecc. 4:12; Jas. 4:7-8; I Cor. 15:57).

                   “Two are better than one.” Who are your friends?

- Jarrod M. Jacobs

“Remember The Alamo!” “Remember The Maine!” “Remember Pearl Harbor!” “Remember 9/11!” These are just a few of the rallying cries that have been heard in our country through the years. These cries showed people that the war being waged was for a cause greater than self.

When we read Nehemiah, we read a similar cry. When Sanballat, Tobiah, and others were intent on destroying the work of the Jews, Nehemiah stood and cried, “Be not ye afraid of them: remember the Lord, which is great and terrible, and fight for your brethren, your sons, and your daughters, your wives, and your houses” (Neh. 4:14). In other words, Nehemiah told the people that the conflict they faced was greater than themselves. They needed to fight for their families!

In a spiritual sense, Satan’s onslaught continues in this world (I Pet. 5:8). He wants to tempt us to leave the Lord (Jas. 1:14-15), and he has no problem hurting the weakest among us to do it! Fathers have the responsibility to bring up their children “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). They have a responsibility to make sure a new generation knows, loves, and respects the God of Heaven! The younger need to be taught by the older to be sober-minded and develop into men ready to serve God (Titus 2:6). Men, are we doing that?

The juvenile delinquency problem continues to be a stain on our nation. This is a result, no doubt, of homes where the father is non-existent. Young people need a father, not a cash machine! Our young need fathers willing to stand and show them what sacrifice looks like as well as an authoritative figure who expects the rules to be obeyed. To borrow a phrase, how can children respect the Father they have not seen if they are not taught to respect the father they have seen? Men, are you doing your job? Are you fighting for your families?

Mothers have the responsibility to raise their children in a godly way and be “teachers of good things” (Titus 2:3). For example, they need to remind their daughters to “be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:4-5). Mothers need to be reminded that their work does not go unnoticed. Mother has a great responsibility to teach, train, to show love and caring, and to be the “heart” of every family. Children see sacrificial, consistent love in mom. Ladies, are you fighting for your families? Don’t let your children down!

Yes, we are in a fight against Satan and the “spiritual wickedness in high places” (Eph. 6:12)! Let us remember that we are not merely fighting Satan to protect ourselves. We are fighting for our families! Remember them! Remember their souls! Let us be busy in the Lord’s work and train a new generation to do God’s will while we have the time and opportunity! Satan, like Sanballat and Tobiah, is looking for his opening into our homes. Don’t let him have it!

- Jarrod M. Jacobs

I think many wives underestimate the influence they have over their husbands and family. Spend time in a study of the Bible, and you will learn just how powerful a wife/mother’s influence is on her family! In I Peter 3:1-6, Peter declares that a wife can bring her husband to the Lord based on her life-choices and influence. Passages like Matthew 5:16 apply in the home just as much as they apply in the workplace or other places.

When we read about King Ahab and his evil, we see that it was his wife Jezebel, who pressed him into even more evil, including conspiring to murder Naboth behind Ahab’s back (I Kings 21:6-14). Similarly, the actions of Zeresh, Haman’s wife, mirrored what Jezebel did (Est. 5:14). When she saw how upset Haman was at Mordecai, she encouraged Haman to kill him on specially-made gallows just for the occasion! What did Haman think of this idea? “The thing pleased Haman and he caused the gallows to be made.”

Zeresh had the opportunity to calm her husband and remind him of what was most important, but she didn’t! She got caught up in Haman’s envy, and anger toward Mordecai and her encouragement caused him to sink lower into sin. Not too many hours later, she would see her husband hanged on the gallows she encouraged him to build. This is the result of the sin, bitterness, and envy that she inspired.

In contrast, we read of godly women who were good influences on their husbands and families. We read of people like Sapphira, Hannah, Mary, and many others. Ladies, one day, you will leave this earth. How do you want to be remembered? What influence are you leaving on your husband and your children? Choose wisely! Don’t be like Zeresh and Jezebel!

- Jarrod M. Jacobs