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“Live Joyfully With Your Wife”

Categories: Anger, Companionship, Daily Living, Ecclesiastes, Expository Study, Family, Home, Husbands, Love, Old Testament, Solomon, Wives

            “Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun” (Ecc. 9:9). Solomon made it clear that a wise thing for a man to do is to spend time living joyfully with his wife. He taught this here and in Proverbs 5:18-19 and 18:22.

            Too many people live in joyless marriages. For whatever reason, the spouses do not come home to joy or happiness like they once did. What happened to them? While blame might be found with both people, perhaps in the simplest terms, we have forgotten how to live joyfully with our spouse!

            God instituted marriage in Genesis 2. “It is not good that man should be alone,” He said (Gen. 2:18). Thus, God made a “help” fitting for a man when He made the woman. She is his physical complement, as well as his mental, emotional, and spiritual complement. These two were made to encourage and help one another. In I Peter 3:7, God intended husband and wife to be “heirs together of the grace of life.” In other words, we are partners and companions on this earth, and part of our work is helping one another go to Heaven! How can there not be joy in a marriage when we try to help and encourage one another to go to the place of eternal joy?

Why should a man listen to Solomon and “live joyfully” with his wife? Let’s consider a few reasons. 

  • “Live joyfully” with your wife because she chose you! She could have married someone else, but she agreed to marry you and travel the road of life with you. 
  • “Live joyfully” with your wife because even when she makes mistakes, she has your best interest in mind.
  • “Live joyfully” with your wife because she has bore your children and loves them. A new generation knows about Jesus thanks to “the wife of thy youth” (Prov. 5:18, 31:10-21).
  • “Live joyfully” with your wife because she is the closest earthly relationship you have. Ephesians 5:22-33 tells the husband to love his wife “as his own body.”
  • “Live joyfully” with your wife because you will have no better friend on earth. 

            It might seem odd that a man with 700 wives and 300 concubines (I Kings 11:3) would encourage men to “live joyfully” with one wife (Ecc. 9:9). Some might suggest that it took such an extreme measure for Solomon to appreciate what God had provided from the beginning! Regardless of what right or wrong decisions Solomon made in his life, remember that this man was endowed with wisdom above all others on earth by God (I Kings 3:12, 4:30-31, 5:12). The Holy Spirit also inspired him in his writing (II Pet. 1:20-21). As a result, there is something we can learn and apply when we read Solomon’s words. He is not only telling us the wise way to go, but he is also saying, in essence, “don’t do what I did!” Isn’t this the kind of advice we need? We need someone who has already traveled the path to come back and warn us about what we ought to do and not do. Solomon’s decision in this area of life serves as this warning to all.

            Let’s listen to the words of the Preacher and live “joyfully” with our spouse (Rom. 15:4).

- Jarrod M. Jacobs