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“"A Soft Answer"”

Categories: Anger, Character Study, Esther, Old Testament, Proverbs, Truth

Solomon said, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Prov. 15:1). In a country whose conversations seem to be harsher than in the past, it is good to be reminded that a “soft answer” can get people just as far, if not farther, at times than screaming or demanding to be heard. In another proverb, we learn, “By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone” (Prov. 25:15). R.A. Torrey says this means, “soft and conciliating language will often accomplish the most difficult things” (Treasury of Scripture Knowledge). How true! Were we aware of these proverbs?

Two (of many) that embody these proverbs are Abigail (I Sam. 25) and Esther (Est. 7). Neither woman led armies into battle, nor did they stage protests, strikes, and the like. They were not warriors in the “conventional” sense of the word. Yet, by their wisdom, their soft answers, and wise reasoning, they persuaded kings to do their will!

Abigail’s wisdom calmed the anger of King David and saved her family from his wrath when her husband acted foolishly (I Sam. 25:21-33). Esther’s wisdom saved not only her life but the entire nation of the Jews (Est. 7:3-8:17)! How did she do it? Remember, Esther had approached the king uninvited (Est. 5:1-3), and when the king asked what she wanted, she invited her husband to two parties (Est. 5:4-8, 7:1-2). She understood the adage, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” By inviting him to these parties and making him feel welcome, she then knew she was in a position to make her request, and he listened (Est. 7:3-4).

Please do not misunderstand. A “soft answer” can still be firm and have conviction. Read Esther 7:4-6 and discover a soft, yet firm answer to Xerxes that is filled with conviction. We do not compromise with sin and error when answering in this manner. If we do, it is no longer a “soft answer,” but a “wrong answer!”

Does this mean that there is no time when fighting for what one believes in is necessary? Of course, not (I Tim. 6:12)! There is a very great need for fighting against Satan and the false doctrines of men (Eph. 6:13-18; I Tim. 4:6-9). At the same time, it is the wise person who understands when to fight hard and when to use the “soft answer.” Let us pray for that wisdom and use it!

- Jarrod M. Jacobs